A frustrated lady wrote...
Men!!!Men!!!Men!!! So complicated,
So hard to please.
If u try 2 pls dem, u re cheap.
If u make love (sex) to them, u're a Love
Peddler. If u don't, u re playing hard to get.
If u show dem u love dem, u're too
If u don't show it, u don't love dem.
If u give them attention, u're bugging them,
if u don't u're with other men. If u demand for attention u'rea nagging
if u don't u're not understandable
If u dress sexy, u're attracting other men
If u don't , u're awkward & local.
If u cook & wash their clothes u're desperate
If u don't, u're not a wife material.
If u go to club/party, u're too exposed
If u don't, u're naïve.
If u re beautiful, u can't stay wit 1 man
If u're ugly, u're not up to standard. If u're independent, u're chasing men away
If u're dependent, u're a liability:
If u try 2 satisfy dem in bed, U're a sex
If u don't, u're making sex boring.
If u'r pregnant, u want to trap them: If u're not pregnant, u're not a
woman or might hv damaged ur womb
If u ask men for money U're too demanding
What do men really want?
Does that mean they don't even know what
they want? O
They can be so annoying!!!
GOSH!! please, answer dis question:
if u are a man pls be sincere,
WHAT DO MEN REALLY WANT?
Over to you men, your comments, please!
Thursday, 5 September 2013
Just yesterday, Dillish’s mother, Selma Pashukeni, confirmed that Abdi Guyo was the man who sired the Namibian beauty over 2 decades ago.
Now all eyes have shifted to Dillish Mathews who had so far not seemed very receptive to him.
In the past couple of days her tweets have been anything but positive, with her insistence that her father is Somali and not Kenyan.
This morning however, her tweets seem to have taken a turn. She tweeted that she was proud to be a Borana girl and that the Lord has given her what she was begging for.
Her icing on the cake, “I am a mommy and daddy’s girl”!
While we have no official statement from Dillish we can only hope she has warmed up to Abdi and that this is the fairy tale ending that she had hoped for.
Wednesday, 4 September 2013
|Dillish Mathews expressed her eagerness to meet her father|
The news received mixed reactions with many saying that he was after her new found fortune. But the reaction that mattered the most, Dillish’s, was anything but positive.
On her twitter account the Namibian beauty tweeted “Why is this weird dude claiming to be my dad! My dad is Somali! Where did he fall from haaaaaaai -_-” and went ahead to retweet those who thought that Abdi was lying.
It has been said that only a mother knows the real father to a child and today, Selma Pashukeni, Dillish’s mother, put the naysayers to shame.
In a Google hangout organized by the Kenyan Embassy in Namibia and the Standard Group, Selma and Abdi were able to talk to each other for the first time in close to 23 years.
Selma was joined by the Kenyan Ambassador to Namibia, Peter Gitau, Dillish Uncle and Aunt. Abdi was at the Standard Group offices for the hangout.
The emotions ran deep and Selma was visibly overcome by the reunion. It was clear that she recognized him and willing to talk. If there had been any hard feelings in the past, they were not visible in this hangout as the two gushed about their time together while in Namibia.
It was a trip down memory lane as they reminisced about the places they had been to and the airport where they last saw each other.
The youthful looking Selma who seemed to have the sharpest memory asked about Abdi’s colleagues who according to Abdi had passed on.
Abdi explained that while he tried his best to keep in touch, his hectic army schedule and the extremely slow communication modes caused them to drift apart.
The uncle was quick to remind Abdi to visit Namibia with loads of money as gratitude for all the work he did raising up Dillish in Abdi’s absence.
By the end of the hangout, Abdi has been invited to Namibia to celebrate Dillish’s 23rd birthday which will happening on the 16th of September.
It yet to be known what Dillish thinks of this turn of events but hopefully there will be a happy ending to the story.
|Young men are not as adventurous as their fathers a generation ago Photo: Ocean/Corbis|
It found that males have become less willing to engage in thrill-seeking activities over the past 35 years.
Research conducted in the late 1970s found that men were 48 per cent more likely than women to be involved in adrenaline-fuelled sport.
However, today men are only 28 per cent more likely than women to participate in adventures activities, such as parachuting, scuba diving or mountaineering.
The researchers claim this is an indication of dwindling male appetite for thrill-seeking activities rather than an increase in women interested in these sports.
Dr Kate Cross, who conducted the study at the University of St Andrews, said that the results indicate that young men have lost the spark needed to get involved in exciting activities.
‘The decline in the sex difference in thrill and adventure-seeking scores could reflect declines in average fitness levels, which might have reduced people’s interest in physically challenging activities,’ she said.
A loss of interest in thrill-seeking activities could be also be attributed partially to a decrease in gender-related differences.
‘This interpretation is consistent with evidence that participation in college sports is becoming more gender balanced across time in response to concerted efforts to encourage female sports participation,’ said the study.
Dr Cross said an alternative explanation for the results is that the questions designed in the 1970s could now be out-of-date.
Skiing, for instance, may no longer be viewed as a novel or intense activity.
The study also showed that sex differences in other areas have not changed across time.
For example, men consistently reported higher average scores than women for disliking dull or repetitive activities, and for enjoying challenging social situations.
The research has been published the journal Scientific Reports.
Tuesday, 3 September 2013
Would a sexless marriage work, for you?
“Not for me,” says Terry Langat, 28. Terry has been happily married for four years now and believes that a healthy sexual relationship is a basic ingredient of a happy marriage.
In her view, if you are not having sex with your significant other, you are missing a vital connection.
Many Kenyan women share this point of view, yet many of them are living in almost sexless relationships, not for lack of libido or desire, but because they do not trust their straying partners, no longer feel physically thrilled by them, just would not be bothered to initiate or participate, or have higher libidos than their partners.
Everyone agrees — in theory at least — that sex is an extremely important part of an intimate union. Religious elders say so, couple therapists say so, and even the law says so.
In fact, many husbands do not know that they risk being compelled by the courts to service their wives if they should take the legal route to force their husbands to have sex with them.
On a personal level and in the real world, though, things are different.
Women, it turns out, are willing to sacrifice their physical satisfaction for a man who provides.
Maureen Nyaga, 30, is one of them. She says that sex is a vital component of a marriage. For her, it serves many more purposes than pleasure.
But she says that whether a lack of it is enough to bring a marriage to an end depends on the circumstances surrounding it.
If her man’s disinterest in sex is caused by medical issues, then she would take it but even then, she would expect other forms of physical affection from him like hugging and cuddling.
“If he wasn’t attracted to me anymore then it would mean that we were living a lie. Being sexual is part of being married,” she says.
Alice Chege, a 33-year-old from Nakuru, agrees. “A good sexual relationship is just part of the deal and if he was a good father and perfectly played all his other roles, then I would put up with it because I believe that he would do the same for me.
Look at it this way, if we had a happy marriage and he had an accident that made him unable to have sex, would this be a reason to leave him? “
“If sex was the only trouble spot in our relationship, I wouldn’t be so quick to sacrifice my family,” says Linda Waya, 28.
“If sex was the only trouble spot in our relationship, I wouldn’t be so quick to sacrifice my family,” says Linda Waya, 28.
However, she doubts that she could survive a lifetime with a husband who was not the least bit interested in her sexually.
CAUSE TO STRAY
So what happens when a woman is not getting enough? It is human nature to want to feel wanted and desired, especially by those whom we are romantically involved with.
Open rejection from a partner can lead a woman to feel undesired and unloved and sexual frustration is likely to open up a lot of temptations for her to have her needs met elsewhere.
She is not content with platonic bliss but she does not see sex as a big enough reason to throw her family into disarray.
Most couples in this situation usually only see two ways out of it. To cheat on their significant other and live with the guilt or ignore the problem and stay, feeling trapped and stressed.
GETTING TO THE ROOT
According to relationships counsellor Maurice Matheka, both of these options ultimately tear a couple apart. The only way out of this situation is getting to the root of the issue.
Talking with your man about it and forging a way forward together.
But this is easier said than done; sex is an awkward topic, to begin with, and complaints about an otherwise loving partner’s performance can feel unnecessarily hurtful.
So, what if he refuses to talk about it or to get help? I pose this question to Mariam Gumbe, who has been married for six years.
She admits that this is not something that has crossed her mind. For her, cheating is out of the question.
The way she sees it, if the problem went on for years and he persistently refused to get help, it would mean that he did not care about her or their relationship and she would ask for a divorce. “That is the most honest option. We all deserve to be happy,” she says.
If she found herself in such a situation, Georgina Njeri, 27, says she would try and talk it through with her husband of two years, the way they do with other issues.
She is, however, sceptical about taking matters like these to a third party unless this person is a doctor or a therapist. She says that she has seen couples at the church she goes to take sexual issues to the church elders, who in turn remind them of the duties that husbands and wives have.
She does not know whether or not these reminders work but she insists that she would not go this way.
“I would hate to pressure him. Sex for me should have an emotional connection and if he was just fulfilling his duties, then it would be mechanical. I want him to actually want to do it, not have to put up with it.”
There is always the legal route to help resolve a sexless marriage. The law acknowledges that one of the duties of a spouse is to have sex with their partner.
Nairobi lawyer Kimani Githongo says that wilful denial of sex by a spouse or refusal to actively participate in it without a reasonable cause is mental cruelty and grounds for divorce permissible under Kenyan laws.
Under the Matrimonial Causes Act, women in sexless but salvageable marriages can seek the intervention of the court to be given an order for the restitution of conjugal rights.
If the courts do not find any reason why this decree should not be granted, they will grant it. But the courts are keen not to infringe on the rights of each party.
For instance, if a man is withholding sex because either he or she is infected with HIV, then a court cannot give an order for the restitution of conjugal rights.
COMPENSATION IN LIEU OF CONJUGAL RIGHTS
While the courts may not be able to force one person to have sex with another, if a man is given this order but still refuses to grant the wife her conjugal rights, he will be required to periodically pay sums of money to his wife.
At this point, this can be grounds for divorce. The Act, however, does not address the plight of the wife who refuses to obey such an order.
According to Matheka, there is no black and white description of how much sex is enough sex or what amounts to a sexless marriage.
He explains that individuals have varying sexual energies from time to time even in marriage and when sex is withheld for prolonged periods or there is a major difference in the sexual needs and desires of the partners, then a marriage can be referred to as sexless.
If your man has never had sex with you and he has persistently denied you sex throughout the marriage, this means that the marriage is not consummated and is grounds for an annulment.
Kenyan actress Lupita Nyongo is receiving rave reviews for her role in the movie 12 Years a slave after the film’s worldwide premiere at the Galaxy Theaters in the Tulleride Film Festival in Colorado on Friday night.
Several US movie critics have also gone out of their way to predict an Oscar nod for the film and for Ms Nyong’o with most agreeing that the actress has a bright future ahead of her in Hollywood.
The film, which is two hours and fourteen minutes long, created a huge buzz at the festival and many critics predicted it is going to hit the US in a “big way” when it is released in the US on October 18th due to its harsh indictment of the slavery era in the country.
The movie is based on the true story of Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a free black man who was kidnapped and sold into slavery in 1841. Critics consider Ejiofor as a leading contender for the best actor award at the Oscars.
The film also features famed actor Brad Pitt, actress Andre Woodard and Quvenzhané Wallis, the 10- year-old actress who played the role of Hushpuppy in the critically acclaimed drama film Beasts of the Southern Wild.
In a movie review by The Hollywood Reporter, Ms Nyong’o is named as one of the possible front-runners for an Oscar in the best supporting actress role. She is up against alongside Hollywood heavy hitters who include Oprah Winfrey (for her role as Lee Daniels in “The Butler), Meryl Streep (August: Osage County), Naomi Harris (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom) and Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle).
The magazine correctly predicted 8 of the 9 eventual best picture Oscar nominees and the eventual best actor and best actress Oscar winners for the 2012 and 2013 awards.
The Hollywood Reporter’s lead awards analyst Scott Feinberg however cautions that predictions this early before three other major film festivals to be held in Venice, Toronto and New York may be premature. He however writes that “12 Years A Slave” should make a strong push for Best Picture, Best Director and Best Actor race.
He also adds that the film should also make an impact in the supporting categories, where Michael Fassbender (as a slave owner) and newcomer Lupita Nyong’o stand good chances of breaking through.
In August of 2012, Ben Affleck’s “Argo” debuted at the Telluride Film Festival and received rave reviews from critics attending the prestigious festival.
Many critics and viewers predicted Oscar nominations for the film after the premiere. Six months after the festival, “Argo” scooped the Best Picture at the 85th annual Academy Awards.
In another major entertainment magazine Variety.com, movie critic Peter Debrudge also had a high praise for Miss Nyongo’s performance. He writes;
“For sheer productivity, none of the slaves comes close to Patsey (Lupita Nyong’o), a soft-spoken beauty of whom Epps is especially fond, much to the consternation of his severe wife (Sarah Paulson).…” he wrote.
“Actresses like Nyong’o don’t come along often, and she’s a stunning discovery amidst an ensemble that carves out room for proven talents such as Paul Dano, Alfre Woodard and Brad Pitt to shine,” he concludes.
In another review in the Los Angeles Times, Ms Nyong’o is described as staging a breakout performance.
According to HotFix.com another movie review website, Ms Nyongo is said to have “eloquently convinced the audience why her character sees death as her only viable escape.”
“It’s the film’s breakthrough performance and may find Nyong’o making her way to the Dolby Theater (where the Academy/Oscar Awards are held) next March,” the website adds.
In June, the Director of the movie Steve McQueen said of Lupita Nyongo: “a star is born.”
Kenyans will in February 2014 see Ms Nyong’o in another Hollywood movie Non-Stop which is an action thriller featuring Liam Neeson who starred in the movies Taken and Unknown.
Monday, 2 September 2013
The traditional wedding took place ahead of the church wedding in Nigeria. Earlier sources close to the singer revealed to Pulse that the big ceremony is to take place the second week of september.
The singer had a lot to say regarding the marriage.
Below are some photographs of the traditional wedding taken by those who attended.