Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Hallo there,

Falling in love can feel so nice it’s better than a dream. But true love’s not about dreaming dreams. True love starts when you realise that this time it’s something much more than just chemistry. But what is it that tells you that this time it’s for real?

The first hint is when you start wanting to be exclusive – and are willing to talk about it. It’s not enough just to hope that your partner feels the same way about you. Because many times they don’t. So both of you being willing to talk about being monogamous is a very good omen. While not admitting how you feel – and what you want in return – could lead to a big let-down.

Because for example, your partner might seem to be loving you while actually they’re still looking around. For someone more handsome, more beautiful, richer... Their love for you’s not sincere, it’s conditional on not finding someone better. Or maybe you’re keeping close to an ex, just in case things don’t work out? So both of you letting everyone else go is another solid sign that this time you’re right for each other.

Being willing to go someplace you hate – and not being a total pain about it – is another. Because once your love is for real, you know that your partner will do the same for you sometime. And you no longer need to show your independence by only doing what pleases you, because you know your partner respects your needs.

Another indication is that you’re both willing to change your attitude towards something important. Money’s an especially good example, because it represents control, independence, and a whole lot more. So if you’re suddenly willing to save when you’re really a big spender, or splash out when normally you’re careful, then you’re in love...

Another sign’s just wanting to hang out together. Early on, dating’s all about finding places to go and things to do. Then once you become intimate, all you want is to get between the sheets. After that you want to show each other off because you’re so proud of one another.

But when simply being together’s all you want, then you’re in love. Because it means the relationship’s now just about the two of you. Everything about your life’s expanded to include each other, and nothing else matters.

The final proof’s that you’re willing to risk being yourself. Because once you’re in a truly loving relationship, you can be honest. You stop worrying that your partner might change their mind if they see the real you.

Before that everything’s just hormonal magic. Which is why we say that people ‘fall’ in love. But once you see the signs that this time it’s for keeps, you can safely start investing in one another. And developing the commitment, responsibility and mutual respect that will hold you together for the rest of your lives.

All the best,
Chris
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